Wednesday, July 2, 2014

Interview with a Monkey King

I had the rare opportunity to have a long conversation with a native of Tamriel's mysterious neighbor-continent of Akavir. He called himself King Jigra Mo and is a resident of what we know as the Thousand Monkey Isles. I took the effort to record most of the early, interesting bits of information before King Jigra descended into a long discourse on the "rightness of leftfootedness".

-Suram Llapoli

King Jigra Mo

"Under Moon and Star, I greet you, honored guest. Welcome to Lyithdonea! My name is Suram Llapoli - historian, explorer, and writer."

King Jigra Mo: “I greet you with hands and feet, stranger! My name is King Jigra Mo, Radiant Emperor and Learned Sage of the island named Act Now, Discuss Later, strongest bough of the Thousand and Thousand Islands of Tang Mo. I have traveled here to spread my right ideas.”

“You speak Tamrielic?”

King Jigra Mo: “Of course, King Suram; we supreme rulers of the Thousand and Thousand Islands of Tang Mo have many alphabets.”

"What is Tang Mo like? In Tamriel, we have only heard the barest rumors of your nation. Are all of its inhabitants like yourself?"

King Jigra Mo: “The Thousand and Thousand Islands of Tang Mo are composed of as many empires and as many varieties of monkeys. Each ruling over their own island in supreme ascendancy. May we contend ever! In the center of the archipelago is my island of Act Now, Discuss Later where I swing on the branch of my royal tree and stick-beat-talk with my thinking-tree in my contemplative rages.”

"You said you were here to spread your 'right ideas'. What are those ideas?"

King Jigra Mo: “Yes! I have many right ideas. Such as how you should crack the coconut to know the weather next morning, do not share ideas with a Cynical Dancer, and that my empire is best because it is hottest to melt snow demons in summer.”

"How exactly did you travel here to spread those right ideas?"

King Jigra Mo: “I swam, King Suram; I was carried here by my own hands and feet - to spread my right ideas.”

"What does 'Act Now, Discuss Later' mean to you?

King Jigra Mo: “Such is the name of my island. It is my best idea. I pride myself on taking swift action without the need to discuss first. My voyage here was my best idea yet! And I brought some instruments I use for swift action with me to spread my best right idea. My empire produces the best hand bombs.”

"Hand bombs?"

King Jigra Mo: “Or feet bombs, if you prefer. You hold them like so, ignite the fuse here, and throw! This is the swiftest action I have thought of! Hoot hoot!”

"What do you use these bombs for? Are there wars among the monkey kings of Tang Mo?"

King Jigra Mo: "Oh, for a certain! Wars of ideas and the right kind of crazy. But I do not need bombs for those wars. No, these are for melting and flinging snow demons when they come down from the heights of their frozen island. They are not the right kind of crazy."

"I've heard of 'snow demons' from Kamal. Do they pose a significant threat to Tang Mo?"

King Jigra Mo: "The snow demons are no more dangerous than an infant-monkey who isn't crazy yet. The Thousand and Thousand Islands are too hot for the snow demons, they are slow and sweating by the time they get here and we greet them with fire and rebuttals."

"How are the relations between Tang Mo and the other two nations of Akavir?"

King Jigra Mo: "It is best to talk of the Cynical Dancers and Noble Leapers if you first hear about the rightness of leftfootedness. An idea which neither of them seem interested in understanding! And it therefore tells a lot about what they are not..."

And here my notes dwindled into irrelevant doodles which I don't find useful to share here. But King Jigra Mo did hand me a rolled note which he said was a copy of an important idea he had sent before he set out himself. See the published note in Missive from the Tang Mo if your interests impress you to do so. I hope that this glimpse into the self-titled "crazy" culture of the monkey-folk of Akavir is enlightening to scholars and laymen alike.

-Suram Llapoli

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